ajal

i was on my way back from IMU... traffic was smooth, until at one point, in front of a petrol station, traffic became a bit slow... i was at the right lane at that time, and i saw cars in front of me all gave signals to the left.. i was wondering... accident? or only a broken car???

i got nearer to the place... and about 100 metres away, i saw white cloth + few pieces of newspaper, on the road... astaghfirullahal'azim... an accident juz happened, with a dead body!

this is actually my first time to see dead body on the road, from a few metres away.. before this, if there were accidents, its either no death or the body had been sent to the hospital when i saw it, or maybe people blocked my view...

maybe, i've seen dead bodies... i've seen a post mortem of 9 year old boy who had hit and run recently in Hosp Kemaman.. i've seen dead bodies in the hospitals.. i've seen my own family and relatives' dead bodies... i've seen dead bodies when i went visited the jenazah...

but this is my first time seeing dead body still lying on the road, with blood still coming out from the body...

sungguh menginsafkan! ajal tetap akan datang apb smp waktu yg telah ditetapkan oleh ALLAH.. x kira apa cara sekali pun... pada waktu itu, entah kita sempat bertaubat atau tidak.. entah kan cukup atau tidak amalan di dunia ini utk mendapatkan syurga di akhirat kelak... semuanya tinggal tanda tanya... apatah lg jika kita 'dipanggil' secara mengejut spt kemalangan ini....

sbb itu, kita selalu diingatkan, beribadahlah hari ini seolah2 kita akan meninggal dunia esok... tetapi peringatan ini selalunya hanya tinggal sbg kata2... kita mudah lupa akan akhirat apb kita dikaburi dgn kesenangan dunia... sibuk dgn hal keduniaan...

dan menyaksikan kejadian ini, membuatkan diri saya sendiri pada hari ini berasa amat amat insaf... Alhamdulillah, hari ini, ALLAH telah mengingatkan sy kembali akan maut ajal akhirat syurga dan neraka..

ya ALLAH, sekiranya yg terbaring tadi adalah seorg muslim, moga Engkau mengampunkan dosa2 beliau.. ameen..

nota: i guess this is a hit and run case.. coz when i was near to my house area, i could see a police car, which was at its high speed.. maybe they were trying to track down the car that has hit that person.. i dunno.. its my assumption..

another nota: tried to donate blood today, but Hb was low!!!! first time kene reject!!!! isk.. :(((( ~adakah 2 months lepaking at home and gynae posting dah buatkan sy x cukup nutrisi??? ehehehe~

lapar

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life - gynae posting

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11th March

went to ward around ~7am... as usual, juz had a cup of coffee.. didnt remember whether i got to eat some snacks or not in the car... had our usual session with Dato'.. at 1130am, we were supposed to have bed side teaching(BST) in ward with our new pathologist from IMU BJ. we waited and waited. unfortunately, since he's a new lecturer, and never came to seremban b4, (and i guess, he's not a malaysian) he got lost on his way and only arrived at ~1pm... oohh tidak, at that time i was really starving. actually at 12pm our leader had try to track his location, n asked permission if he were to be late, we'd like to go for lunch first... but he said he was about to reach imu, which actually not true..huhuhu.. obviously i couldnt concentrate during the session and finally i got to have lunch at 2pm at hospital's cafeteria.. itupun we were rushing coz we another session at 2pm.

19th March

another starving episode... breakfast - a cup of coffee + a piece of kuih.. my group went to PD today... started with ward round first.. then, clinic session... as usual, clerk patients... by 1pm, there were no signs that the session would last... left another 1-2 patients.. feeling like i would soon turn to hypoglycemic state... luckily, there's a packet of biscuit in my whitecoat pocket.. (,") and eventually, we only finished the session at ~230pm... hospital PD canteen was closed :(((( so we all went back straight to IMU... we reached IMU at about 3+pm.. coz IMU canteen was already closed, so decided to pray first before heading to hospital to eat there, and later can go straight to ward to clerk patients... akhirnya, nasi ayam masuk la juga ke dalam perut yg lapar... alhamdulillah.. :))))

20th March

minum coffee... unfortunately, i left behind my apollo cake on my table in the room.. :( all of us thought dato' wont come to ward today, but our prognosis was wrong.. at 8 something he came... it was the first time he let us join his round with the doctors... usually, he would do rounds with the doctors first, and only after that he took us.. everything was fine.. had BST with another lecturer from IMU BJ. b4 the session, i went to hospital cafeteria with TY n TV to grab some food. 2 pieces of kuih and plain water.. the BST session finished at ~1240pm... felt hungry but i decided to go library first to print out report and edit my case presentation slides, wanted to add in investigation results (CTG and partogram) which i juz snapped the pictures this morning. coz i was lazy to go down then go up again later... and di library, my favourite computer x dpt lak nk detect the pendrive.. all this while, ok je... huhuhu.. and to make thing worse, other computers were all occupied (or rosak).. but when i got a computer, ramai la plak lining up to print.. :( finally everything was settled at ~150pm.. went down, but canteen was closed.. :(((( so, pegi la solat and after that at 230pm went to class, with empty stomach. class session was quite long.. at 440pm baru habis... pray 'asar then balik! singgah beli burger di tepi jalan... and at 530pm, when i reached home only i had my 'lunch' i.e burger...

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itula al-kisahnya... my starving episodes during gynae posting. =p gynae posting is fun! i enjoyed it very much! wpun penat, on calls, need to come at 7am when we r scheduled to be in ward that day... but the learning process was fun.. :D

and harap2nya, dgn 'kesusahan2' ini, akan diikuti dgn kesenangan.. :) moga 'kesusahan' ini akan diikuti dgn kejayaan yg cemerlang dlm exam EOP nnt!!! ameen... dan jg moga 'kesusahan' hari ini dpt membentuk diri ini menjadi seorang doktor muslimah yg diredhai ALLAH.. ameen...

spt firman ALLAH SWT:

Karena sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan. sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan. Maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain. dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap.

[alam nasyrah,94: 5-8]

nota: saya suka memulakan hari dgn bacaan surah ini, biasanya dibaca dlm solat subuh... :) sbg motivasi dan peringatan - motivasi spy menghadapi setiap urusan dgn bersungguh-sungguh dan sabar kerana diakhirnya ada kesenangan :D, dan peringatan spy melakukan urusan pada hari ini lebih baik drp sebelumnya, sbg tanda kesyukuran kpd ALLAH SWT kerana telah permudahkan urusan yg sblmnya.. :)

Babies

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Babies...

they are innocent, adorable, and absolutely, precious gifts from ALLAH SWT to their parents, families and community...

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O mankind! if ye have a doubt about the Resurrection, (consider) that We created you out of dust, then out of sperm, then out of a leech-like clot, then out of a morsel of flesh, partly formed and partly unformed, in order that We may manifest (our power) to you; and We cause whom We will to rest in the wombs for an appointed term, then do We bring you out as babes, then (foster you) that ye may reach your age of full strength; and some of you are called to die, and some are sent back to the feeblest old age, so that they know nothing after having known (much), and (further), thou seest the earth barren and lifeless, but when We pour down rain on it, it is stirred (to life), it swells, and it puts forth every kind of beautiful growth (in pairs).

[al-Hajj, 22:5]

the fisrt baby girl that i delivered... my first experience ever of conducting delivery... thanx to all Hospital Kemaman labour room staff nurses who have taught me and given me courage to do it! :D and thanx to the mother who believed in me and gave me the oppurtunity...

one day old twins... sayangnya mereka terpaksa dipisahkan drp ibunya, lantaran kesempitan hidup... :( her mom had primary post partum haemorrhage following emergency LSCS secondary to fetal distress, and was warded for another 2-3 days... moga kalian tidak melupakan jasa susah payah ibumu yg melahirkan kalian berdua... :)

Dan Allah menciptakan kamu dari tanah kemudian dari air mani, kemudian Dia menjadikan kamu berpasangan (laki-laki dan perempuan). Dan tidak ada seorang perempuan pun mengandung dan tidak (pula) melahirkan melainkan dengan sepengetahuan-Nya. Dan sekali-kali tidak dipanjangkan umur seorang yang berumur panjang dan tidak pula dikurangi umurnya, melainkan (sudah ditetapkan) dalam Kitab (Lauh Mahfuzh). Sesungguhnya yang demikian itu bagi Allah adalah mudah.

[Faathir, 35:11]

this is Kak Sa's (my lovely naqibah) second daughter... alhamdulillah, managed to visit kak sa, izzah (her first daughter) and this new born baby somewhere in november last year...

ni plak gambar Aiman syafie when he was a few months old... my cousin's son... now dah besar, going to be 1 year old soon... makin tembam now...

latest picture of aiman, with my brother.. Halim Razak

ini plak my first cucu... :D ~bunyi cam dah tua.. ahaqs~ walaupun hanyalah cucu sepupu... ehehe... meaning, my mom's first cicit... :) went to visit her (ke him??? =p) at my cousin's house during last hari raya aidil fitri...

Dan (ingatlah), ketika Tuhanmu mengeluarkan keturunan anak-anak Adam dari sulbi mereka dan Allah mengambil kesaksian terhadap jiwa mereka (seraya berfirman): "Bukankah Aku ini Tuhanmu?" Mereka menjawab: "Betul (Engkau Tuhan kami), kami menjadi saksi." (Kami lakukan yang demikian itu) agar di hari kiamat kamu tidak mengatakan: "Sesungguhnya kami (bani Adam) adalah orang-orang yang lengah terhadap ini (keesaan Tuhan)"

[al-'Araaf, 7:172]

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maksud ayat: sesungguhnya ALLAH telah mengambil kesaksian setiap makhluk ciptaanNya sejak di alam roh lagi... dan mmg telah diciptakan manusia itu dgn fitrah utk mengesakan Tuhan yang satu... maka, tiada alasan bg mereka utk mempersekutukan Allah... sebagaimana sebahagian manusia menggunakan alasan nenek moyang/keturunan mereka yg dahulunya telah mempersekutukan Allah... [rujuk ayat selepas ayat ini, 7:173]

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doaku, moga kalian semua akan membesar menjadi anak2 yg soleh dan solehah dan menjadi penegak kebenaran utk generasi masa akan datang! ameen..

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p/s: and skrg di crackerz yahoogroup, a few crackerz were very excited waiting for our first crackerz baby... ehehehe... anak kpd Ayu @ fadem dgn Mu'az... insyaAllah, hujung bulan ni ye ayu??? :)

Muslim Doctor's Oath

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In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.Praise be to Allah, the Sustainer of His Creation, the All-knowing.Glory be to Him, the Eternal, the All-Pervading.O Allah, Thou art the only Healer,I serve none but Thee, and, as the instrument of Thy Will, I commit myself to Thee.I render this Oath in Thy Holy Name and I undertake:

To be the instrument of Thy Will and Mercy, and, in all humbleness, to exercise justice, love and compassion for all Thy Creation;

To extend my hand of service to one and all, to the rich and to the poor, to friend and foe alike, regardless of race, religion or colour;

To hold human life as precious and sacred, and to protect and honour it at all times and under all circumstances in accordance with Thy Law;

To do my utmost to alleviate pain and misery, and to comfort and counsel human beings in sickness and in anxiety; To respect the confidence and guard the secrets of all my patients;

To maintain the dignity of health care, and to honour the teachers, students, and members of my profession;

To strive in the pursuit of knowledge in Thy name for the benefit of mankind, and to uphold human honour and dignity;

To acquire the courage to admit my mistakes, mend my ways and to forgive the wrongs of others;

To be ever-conscious of my duty to Allah and His Messenger (S.A.W.), and to follow the precepts of Islam in private and in public.

O Allah grant me the strength, patience and dedication to adhere to this Oath at all times.

a final year MS

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Today, i'm officially promoted to a final year medical student... :D

the happiness hanyalah sedikit aje yg dirasainya... selebihnya is perasaan takut dan risau nak menghadapi EOS 9.... huhu

my first posting for this sem 9 is gynaecology...

anyway, juz hoping and praying hard, my friends and I will do well in this semester...

dah sem 9 nih, dah x bleh malas2 dah... really need to motivate myself! and do need everyone's help to motivate me!!! :p and dah x bleh nak stress2 lg.... or if stress pun, i have to find the best way to manage it... or else, nnt otak jam... like my sem7 n 8 = year 4...

moga ALLAH permudahkan segala2nya... moga kami dapat menjadi doktor2 muslims yg diredhaiNya dan competent!

GOOD LUCK to all my colleagues! :D

p/s: i think its not too late to congratulate my sisters and brothers who have passed their EOS 5, EOS 7, EOS 9 and EOS 10 (grand final exam) recently.. congratz! doakan kami pun akan menuruti jejak langkah kalian semua.. to pass both EOS 9 and 10 within this 1 year... ameen