Tanggungjawab

seandainya masa boleh diputar kembali, aku berharap aku pada ketika itu mempunyai kekuatan utk mengeluarkan suaraku...

aku berharap aku dpt mengingatkan mereka tentang tanggungjawab mereka, walaupun mereka itu lebih tua ataupun org2 dihormati... tetapi pada ketika itu, mulutku hanya terkunci... :(

akhirnya aku hanya mampu menangis di dlm hati... dan air mataku tak dpt ditahan, aku menangis di dalam solat... malu utk berhadapan dgn Tuhan yg menciptakan diri ini... kerana pada ketika itu, aku tidak menjalankan tanggungjawabku sbg khalifahNya di muka bumi ini... :( dan aku takut dgn azab2 Allah, kerana aku tidak berusaha 100% utk menyeru kebaikan, menghalang kejahatan...

dan pastinya, masa yg berlalu tidak akan dpt diulang kembali... spt kata imam Ghazali;- perkara yg paling jauh dgn manusia adalah 'masa lalu'...

tetapi peristiwa itu, mendatangkan seribu penyesalan buat diriku... dan memberi sejuta pengajaran buat diriku!

aku sedar, ini tanggungjawabku! terasa amat berat.. tetapi seberat mana pun, aku perlu memikulnya...

aku berdoa, moga ALLAH memberikan kekuatan kpdku utk berada di jalan dakwah ini... moga aku dapat menjalankan amanahNya dgn sebaik2nya... aku sedar, tarbiyah perlu diberi kpd mereka yg masih belum memperolehinya secara 'total'... terutamanya kpd mereka yg berada di sekelilingku... dan itu lah tanggungjawabku!!!

dan semalam...

aku berfikir, sampai bila aku perlu menunggu??? umur makin meningkat... dan usia utk aku berada di muka bumi ini makin berkurangan... masa berlalu, sehari demi sehari... jika aku tidak memberanikan diriku pada hari ini, bilakah lagi aku ini memulakan 'mission' ku ini??? aku tak mahu mati dalam keadaan aku tidak menyempurnakan tanggungjawabku ini... atau org2 di sekelilingku meninggalkan alam dunia ini dgn dosa2 yg tidak patut mereka dapat... hanya semata2 kerana aku tidak berani utk mengingatkan mereka atau memberitahu mereka...

owh azi... kuatkan semangatmu! kumpulkan keberanianmu!!!

ya Allah, moga Engkau memberikan kekuatan kepadaku utk menyatakan KEBENARAN!

p/s: currently in depressed mood... kerana mengenangkan keadaan diri ini yg sungguh lemah! :(

kisah si A

si A nak ke daurah a.k.a majlis ilmu di suatu tempat yg lebih kurang 60-80 km jauhnya. tetapi kerana duit biasiswa semester ini yg dah habis digunakan, dan utk coming semester belum lagi masuk, jadi si A tidak mempunyai wang yg cukup utk ke sana... jadi, si A bercadang utk meminjam wang drp kawan2nya... tetapi si A sebenarnya masih berhutang dgn bbrp org rakan2nya...

ermm...jika anda si A, mana anda pilih? pinjam duit utk menghadiri majlis ilmu??? or pilih utk tak pergi ke daurah tersebut???

(",)

soalan kedua, sekiranya anda sahabat kepada si A nih, apa yg anda akan buat??? dan kemudian, anda dpt tau si A nih sbnrya ada masalah utk manage duit nya.. apa the best advice(s) yg bleh anda offer kpd si A????

pendapat2 sahabat saya dahulukan dgn jazakallahu khairan katheera... :D

Spongebob

venue: Seminar Room 1, IMU
Time: 2-4pm


a classmate of mine, who we called him as 'Genius' ~and even a few lecturers do say that he's a genius... ~ ('.') - he said:

they call me spongebob...



and we all were like.. "huh??? why???"

and he answered: "Coz i can absorb everything... anything people say, i can absorb.. that's why i'm genius ma..." ~the Genius in his funny and perasan tone.. =P ~

LOL

well...i think, i'm enjoying and having a good time learning medic with my current posting-mates... :)

there's another 1 week plus,b4 our last posting (orthopaedic) ends.. after that its going to be 2 weeks of study break, then, exam time! and we'll have a new group next sem... hurmm.. well again i think, i'm gonna miss this group...

fun, laughter, geram, marah, sindir, ejek, blur, kepoci, perasan, all the chinese words they all taught me and farah... and a lot more reasons for me to love this group... :D

frens... all d best in our coming EOS!!!!! i know most of us believe in God... so,do pray, may God help all of us in the exam! :D

a verse from Quran:

And say: "Work (righteousness): Soon will Allah observe your work, and His Messenger, and the Believers: Soon will ye be brought back to the knower of what is hidden and what is open: then will He show you the truth of all that ye did."

[9:105]

as Muslims, we believe that our God observe our work, instead of looking at the outcome... thats why, we believe that, in everything we do, we have to work hard and try our best, no matter how the outcome is going to be!

so guys and girls, lets start working now!!! =D

Durian

it's Durian season now!

Ching Mun invited me and farah to join her and frens to eat durian today.. but since i've eaten dinner, and today was actually quite a long day for me n farah... so when we arrived home, we were already exhausted... and farah after dinner she straight away went to sleep... so, left only me, CM n Khung Ying eating the durian...

and it tasted very nice! eventhough i kenyang, but the smell and the very nice taste, made me very tempted to eat more and more durians... one after another... luckily the frens came... and they were TJ and Ernest... so kerana kemalasan nak tuka baju, pakai tudung n etc, jd i stopped eating and sat quietly in front of laptop+book in my room.. ahaqs.. alhamdulillah, their arrival at least prevent me from adding some more lemak to my body!

to CM, thanx a lot! :D may God bless u.. :)

p/s: terasa spt mau pulang rumah! sbb kalau blk umah mesti dpt makan durian dgn lg byknya! sbb ayah spt mksd namanya (razak), murah rezeki bila musim durian tibe... sooo...bila dah kenal ramai sgt org, slalu la dpt free durian drp kwn2nya yg ada dusun durian... hehehe...

~hurmm...somewhere in April-May 2008, b4 musim durian bermula, Dr. ZZ ada offer azi n farah ke dusun durian keluarganya... kerana katanya none of his family members makan durian... tetapi.. agak2, adakah offer ini valid lg? =P ~

dan durian... satu lg nikmat ALLAH yg x dpt kita nafikan ke'best'annya... :D

Hadis - Maruah diri

Drpd Ibnu Umar r.a katanya: Rasulullah SAW bersabda:-


Berbuat baiklah kepada kedua-dua ibu bapa kamu. kelak kamu akan dilayan baik oleh anak-anak kamu. jagalah maruah diri kamu, pasti isterimu akan menjaga diri dan maruah mereka.

-hadis Rasulullah SAW-

Thank you

alhamdulillah... finally, we are done with our research project! we officially 'close' this research chapter of our medic students' life story book as we have passed it up last friday.. :D

special thanx to prof CSK who have helped us a lot!

next, many thanx to the research group members, Calvin Wong, Alyssa and Xiu Jin... i had a good time working with u all! :D

and millions thanx, to all my batchmates who have voluntarily or 'involuntarily' participated in our "e-learning haematology course"... and those who have been part of our research thingy as the control group... TQ for spending ur time answering pre and post questions.. (",) although i know, all of us are bz studying for current postings la, for final la, ur own research, CFCS etc...

terima kasih juga kpd mak ayah di atas doa2 yg x pernah2 putus tuh... :D

and thank you ALLAH for alwiz being with me.. :) mmg, dlm menunggu research nih siap, there are times that i feel very stressed.... but alhamdulillah... saya tahu, saya ada ALLAH sbg tempat mengadu, meminta dan rahmatNya yg melimpah ruah utk hamba2Nya... (^_^)

research habis.. now i need to come back to the old chapter; CFCS...

and i know, next weekend i'd be busy utk buat report plak for Ortho posting.. huhu.. xde lg istilah beristirehat during weekends... rasanya mmg dah teramat2 lama x keluar utk ber(window) shopping tanpa perlu memikirkan hal2 berkaitan ngan studies... dan smlm, kerana perlu keluar utk buat spectacles yg framenya patah [again.. =( ], jd kesempatan tuh digunakan la utk pg bjln2 shopping kasut kejap... satu keperluan.. utk gantikan kasut lama yg dah uzur.. wpun kejap aje, but alhamdulillah, at least dpt la dijadikan as therapy after more than 2 weeks perah otak and tenaga for research...

again, i would like to say THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH to all who have helped me and my colleagues in this research project!

HAEMATOLOGY IS COOL!

Fikirkan lah... dan bersyukurlah! dgn ciptaan2 ALLAH yg hebat ini... kerana dgn sel2 darah yg amat2 kecil ini ia dpt membuat kita bernyawa hingga hari ini... ALLAH is THE GREATEST!

try not to cry

was 'lepak'ing in library again today... for research purposes... waiting for an email reply from prof CSK, in case if he wants me to change anything, then i could juz do it on the spot coz i can only get SPSS software from IMU's computers...

waiting and studying at the same time... while praying hard i dont have to make any big changes to our research results.... ~or else, i would be spending another night at IMU library today~

unfortunately, didnt get any reply... dlm hati, i was like, 'wut if prof only reply by tonight and i need to do changes??? wut will i do then???' hurmmm...

bila dah penat belajar, n i pun started to feel sleepy, so i went to read newspaper... and i read this one section dlm berita harian bout "dakwah dlm hip hop" and the big heading drew my attention... so i read it till the end... the author introduced to the readers 2 hip hop group... "the soldier of ALLAH" and "Outlandish"

and i juz realised, this "Outlandish" is the group yg nyanyi "i'm calling u"... a song that i was first introduced by fatin... -sesapa nak dgr bleh aje ke frenster cik fatin kita, or di frens list saya, fatin is known as bankyoshilang-

besides that song, there was another song, "try not to cry".. i was eager to listen to it as it was described as a song that dedicated to all children who are suffering from heartless people...

so i downloaded it tadi... :D and after listening it to it for a few times, i admit, i fall in love with this song! :D



[owhh..my laptop is being hijacked by a 'very mean' virus, which does not allow me to access youtube, AT ALL!... so cant post the video here.. :( ~ -nway, sesapa tau camne nak treat this virus????- ]

update on 080808-

alhamdulillah..laptop azi skrg dah bleh access youtube blk!!! :)) ~senyum smp ke telinga kerana gembira~ thanx to baiti sbb introduce kan pada a new anti-virus software!!! :)
______________________________________________________

to my younger brothers and sisters... TRY NOT TO CRY! Our du'ahs are with u!

back pain

i'm having back pain! :( quite bad i guess.. for now, this is the worst episode that i ever have... huhuhu

it started after i had to stand for about 3 hours during our case presentation... even though later i got to sit during lunch hour and afternoon seminar, but the pain didnt go off.. and later in the evening, again i had to stand during our extra class with Mr. CTC (HTJ orthopaedic surgeon) ~ohh..he's soo nice, willing to do extra class for us without being paid... n some more, he's the one who suggested about this class, not us who requested for it...~ may God bless u Mr. CTC! :)

and yes, yesterday was a very tiring day! i thought of not having dinner, so that i could go to sleep immediately after maghrib... but then, we masak juga the meal.. so, ended up i slept around 10pm... i had difficulty to sleep... i tried so many positions juz to relieve my back pain.. but didnt help... i even tried to put pillow under my back, but it worked for a while je.. :( so in the end, i juz ignored it...

bangun pagi, i felt a bit better bout my back pain... :D but unfortunately, another sakit plak dtg.. :(( felt very uneasy while i was in ward this morning, so i decided to go back to IMU and rest before going to operation theatre... ~tapi this kind of pain, eventhough it's very painful, but then, i consider it as a normal pain..~

and later, di OT, bout half an hour standing... dush.. my back pain came back! haih... terasa cam org tua la plak.. time tuh, dua2 sakit ada..

and now, di kala pukul 821pm 8th July, only back pain remains... hurmm... hrp2, in these few days, no more long hours of standing is required.. at least, till this back pain subsides...

tp pepun, dalam kesakitan, ada nikmatnya.. :D i dont consider my back pain as a severe pain coz i know, some patients in wards experience much more severe pain than me... and at least, my back pain only occurs once in a while... not like my other friends who have osteoarthritis, they have to bare the pain everytime when we need to stand for long hours... ~huhu..poor them, soo young, yet have OA (`?') ~

alhamdulillah... thank you ALLAH! :D

verse of the day:

What can Allah gain by your punishment, if you are grateful and you believe? Nay, it is Allah that recogniseth (all good), and knoweth all things.

[ an nisa': 147]

penat

These few days azi rasa penat yg teramat...

and kemuncaknya was yesterday! mmg since tghari smlm, after CP ngan prof HS, i had this very-unlikely-achievable-wish; that i would be at home, sleeping on my single mattress, while the rain continue to pour outside the house!... but of coz, it didnt happened, as i had a long long day yesterday...

the very last time i felt like this, masa first week of obstetric posting... ingat lg masa minggu itu, kemuncaknya was on the friday night of that very first week... even though hari 'bekerja' telah berakhir, but then, i need to go back to hospital for my weekend oncall... and tha fact was the days and nights before, my groupmates and i had been spending almost of our time in wards... pagi petang siang malam! ~but i know, during that time, i was not the only one yg rasa penat, but the whole group! =)~

itu cerita ketika Obstetric posting... but currently, azi penat dgn research+keperluan utk buat revision for final exam+study utk current posting... but being azi, i know that i cannot do multiple serious jobs (esp tasks yg involve studies!) at one time... so currently i am concentrating on my research project... rasanya, i hardly open my orthopaedic books since i started ortho posting.. :(

but ini la hidup... and dlm menghadapi life ni, setiap hari, i do pray hard that my busy life wont make me forget my lifetime 'job'... my responsibility as ALLAH's SERVANT!

ok... better stop... n i really need rest... esok is another 'long' day waiting for me! walaupun esok adalah hari sabtu... :(

~bestnya adik aiman syafie ni tido!!! :D k.ji dia dtg visit pun dia x bangun2 jg =P~

hopefully, by ahad nih, at least dapatlah spend more time reading ortho book...:D insyaALLAH.. moga Allah permudahkan segala urusanku.. :D

to all frens, doa ana utk kalian - barakallahulakum! (",)

p/s: azi pun penat juga ngan pelbagai cerita politik skrg nih!!!!! penat nak analyse cerita2 di media! lebih kurang penatnya dgn penat nak analyse my research results! :p